Spaceman is a Netflix Movie staring Adam Sandler.  It should have been called Sandman for its ability to put all but the most dedicated viewer to sleep.    

Did you watch the ABC TV show called Lost?  I watched the first episode and thought, “well, I’ll watch the last episode and find out the mystery.”  Six seasons later, the finale proved what I expected: the writers were lost and had no idea how to end the series or explain the mystery.  At the end of this movie, I felt the same. 

The story line is that a mysterious cosmic cloud has appeared in our skies near the orbit of Jupiter. Spaceman Jakob is sent by the Czech consortium on a solo, year-long journey to collect samples of this cloud and return home.  With months of isolation and time to reflect upon his failing marriage and hallucinations(?) of a conversation with a space alien in the shape of a giant tarantula,  Jakob discovers the motivations for his selfishness in his traumatic childhood and realizes why he has not been able to be fully present to his wife. Yawn… 

Spoiler alert: he gets to the cloud, destroys his own ship, and is rescued by a parallel mission by the South Koreans.  But is anything explained about the cloud, the tarantula who can get on and off the ship without an airlock, and how the Koreans have enough food to get him back to earth safely with their crew? 

No.   

1 hour and 48 minutes of tedium, of which I fast-forwarded through as many scenes of silent, dull inaction on the ship as I could.  In short, the movie is a waste of time and I “pity the fool” who watches it.

Cast: Adam Sandler, Carey Mulligan, Paul Dano, Kunal Nayyar, Lena Olin, Isabella Rossellini

Director: Johan Renck, Writer: Colby Day